Thursday, 27 June 2013

UFOs: 21 Reasons Not To Believe Any Of That Bullshit


First of all, this list isn't intended for rosy-glassed dreamers, i.e. people who have a powerful need to believe in piffle such as witches, ghosts, the Yeti, and the Loch Ness monster. Such people can't be reasoned with, too deep is their flawed thinking, and too strong is their desire to believe at all cost. They feel as if the world isn't interesting or fascinating enough as it is, so they need additional inventions and made-up toys, fantasies picked out of thin air; sort of the way a lonely young boy invents an imaginary pal. Be my guest; be as self-deluded as you feel your bored mind requires it, but don't try to then sell that nonsense to the rest of us who have a smidgen of common sense. 

The text is intended more for people who are still unsure, and for those who are new to the subject and don't even know where to start. This is as good a place as any to start - especially considering the multitude of bullshit that one can find on the net on this subject.

Secondly, let's get one thing straight. The abbreviation "U.F.O." means no more and no less than "unidentified flying object". It does NOT mean "alien ship". People who equate the term "UFO" solely with flying vessels populated with little green men are semi-literate cave-people. Hence, the question of whether one believes in UFOs or not is an extremely stupid one. It's not hard to believe in unidentified objects, flying or not.

UFOs do indeed exist. Visiting alien aircraft do not. Big difference.

Thirdly, not believing in alien ships visiting Earth is NOT the same as believing that aliens don't exist elsewhere in the universe. Those are two very separate issues, and yet many people confuse them. The laws of probability tell us that there is a high likelihood that there are many alien species strewn all over the universe. Trouble is, they're pretty much just as stuck where they are as we here on Earth.

Here's why green monsters can't visit us, and why UFO fans are deluded. 

Bored as hell, watching videos all day.

The chance that our own Solar System has any kind of other life - much less intelligent space-faring life - is extremely slim. At best, there might be a few bacteria lounging about here and there. I don't see bacteria building ships and anal-probing humans any time soon. (Bacteria can enter our asses with much less hassle than that.)

The odds that life exists in any of the nearby star systems is almost as low. The odds that any such life would constitute of highly advanced space-travelers is so low it's practically negligible.

Now consider this word "nearby": it's highly misleading. The distances between any two neighbouring i.e. "nearby" solar systems (particularly in our part of the galaxy) are so enormous that you'd require these "nearby" aliens to be able to travel at the speed of light in order to get here - and even then they'd still need to travel for several years. For aliens visiting us from much further solar systems, we're talking hundreds, thousands, and even millions of years of traveling at the speed of light. Why would they fucking bother?

The speed of light has a very nasty catch inasmuch as that Einstein's most famous formula makes it practically impossible to accelerate anything bigger than a grain of sand to go that fast. Accelerating an entire ship to such a speed would require nothing less than physics of the impossible i.e. more energy than anyone can even imagine let alone harness. I for one do not believe that any species in our universe, no matter how smart, can achieve the impossible because that would make them god-like. And I don't believe in supreme beings of any kind (that's another bullshit human invention, but not the subject here).

Besides, have you any idea how many risks interstellar space holds for ANY living being? Read up some physics as opposed to watching those cretinous History Channel UFO programs. Traveling through interstellar space for even relatively short amounts of time would be a huge challenge for even the brightest bug-eyed green monsters. The almost-vacuum of space is an incredibly hostile environment, and yet UFOlogists prefer not to take that into consideration. Or they simply give their fictional aliens the ability to breath and/or exist in vacuum (usually naked), or some such fanciful nonsense.

The lazy offhand argument that "aliens had already solved all these technical difficulties" simply doesn't hold water because UFOlogists haven't yet proven the existence of ONE alien race, yet already they go a step further and assign these very fictional creatures abilities. UFOlogists can't even prove the bare-bones basics upon which their entire belief-system is centered, and yet they already jump to conclusions such as this.

There has to be a limit - a ceiling - to technological progress, otherwise all "advanced" living things have the potential of becoming gods, i.e. complete masters of their own (and others') destiny. To simply assume that technological advancement is limitless reveals an extraordinary lack of understanding of the harsh environment that surrounds us, i.e. the very brutal, essentially anti-life cosmos. It is preposterously naive thinking, revealing an arrogance that is typical of people who feel bigger than they really are - refusing or unable to realize their ultimate insignificance in the vastness of the multiverse.

So damn incompetent, these geniuses.

The whole notion of intelligent alien beings traveling for years, decades or even centuries to reach Earth - just in order to then hide from us - makes no sense in the least. The "non-interference directive" is a goofy, idealistic invention by the writers of Star Trek, not an actual "interstellar law" passed in some imagined "Intergalactic Parliament Of Planets". I am highly suspicious of any suggestions that aliens would give a flying f**k about it i.e. actually care whether they'd be interfering in our oh-so precious development or not.

If aliens visited us, simple common sense suggests that they might not be nearly as concerned about being seen as some paranoid humans believe. It'd make much more sense to assume that such space-faring aliens would be so superior to us that they wouldn't have the least need to hide - since they wouldn't have any reason to fear us.

And if they did have the need to hide, for whatever reasons, wouldn't they be successful at it?

But I guess many people have trouble separating the world of real science and common sense from the world of Hollywood and sci-fi pulp. There is no denying the tremendous influence that sci-fi novels but especially movies, computer games and TV shows have had on the psyches of people who lean more easily toward succumbing to bullshit.
"Ok... When I'm done counting I'm gonna start lookin' for ya!... If I don't find you in three minutes I will just have to assume that you were abducted by little green aliens and will phone The National Enquirer!"

Jumping to conclusions: a favourite pastime of nearly all UFOlogists.

The true reason why nearly all aliens are portrayed as hide-and-seeking, overly shy retards is obvious:
it's a self-serving argument that allows UFOlogists to not have to present any physical proof of their visitations - which in turn enables them to perpetuate this idiotic myth ad nauseum.


To simply assume casually that there must be creatures out there that have almost no technological limitations (and any distant-star aliens that could reach Earth would have to have such absurd powers by definition) is incredibly naive - and reveals very lazy thinking and a lack of common sense.

For any species to conquer space to the extent where they can travel anywhere they want, while using ultra-mega-giga-guga-speeds or space-bending/space-cheating methods, places them on an equal footing with any fictional gods we humans had ever invented.

It's highly questionable whether any living being can devise a way to get anywhere close to traveling at the speed of light, and yet there are many UFOlogists out there who foolishly believe in warp speeds and other such nonsense, i.e. speeds that even go way beyond the speed of light. Proof? None. For some people (i.e. retards) Star Trek is education rather than mindless entertainment.

If we give these fictitious aliens god-like powers then they ARE gods, for all practical purposes. And if they're gods, then they can't be aliens i.e. living beings like us. Then they are gods, period. We cannot confuse the two, because they're mutually exclusive. If aliens are all-powerful then they can't be mere mortals so they must be gods. Quite f**king simple. You can't have your cake and it too.

UFOlogists simply make a series of wishful-thinking-based assumptions based on non-observable "facts", wild guesses, and highly dubious "proofs", then reach far-fetched fanciful conclusions that simply have no basis in reality whatsoever, i.e. are utterly and totally unscientific. Just like regular church-goers.

Religious people who believe in little green aliens can be forgiven, because they'd left logic and sense at the door a while ago, but those of you who call yourselves "atheists" and still believe in all this shit - you've got no excuse. You are quasi-atheists. It might even be considered logical for religious folk to buy into UFO mythology. It's the non-religious folk who believe in all this crap that are the real fools in all this. 

Belief in all-powerful aliens is in no way different than belief in a supernatural creature that controls the universe. Both systems of thinking are guided by the same or similar disregard for logic, evidence (i.e. lack of it) and science, and are fueled by mere wishful thinking.


There are many aspects of UFOlogy that doubtlessly define it as a religion, and its adherents as religious fanatics.

1) Many of them will miss no opportunity to negate the belief system of any religion they are not part of. They take/hijack/borrow aspects of other religions (Jesus descending from Heaven etc) and give those events new spins, new interpretations for which they cannot offer any evidence. That's exactly how Christianity was born: by giving Judaism a new spin. That's exactly how Islam was born: by giving a new spin to Christianity. Now UFOlogists are in the process of creating (or have already done so) yet another religion based on those before them. This is/was achieved by taking a new spin on Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism and any other religion they can get their grubby hands on.

Just like every other religion, UFOlogy often sees existing religions as its "competition", its rivals. Of course, some UFOlogists cheat by staying "faithful" to their previous religions, desperately trying to make a plausible connection between some religion (e.g. Christianity) and this new UFO nonsense. Sometimes UFOlogists fight competing religions just as hard as they fight science. This is nothing new: competing religions have been fighting each other for thousands of years. 
They also (mis)use certain aspects of other religions and science whenever it suits them i.e. they twist facts and non-facts to make them forcibly fit their own UFO bullshit theories.

2) Any belief in creatures whose existence hasn't been proven at all falls into supernatural belief. Leprechauns, ghosts, witches, Santa, Bigfoot, vampires, trolls, the Yeti. We can add little green ass-probing aliens to that group, easily.

3) UFOlogists make up their own rules when it comes to their pseudo-science, much like the Vatican in the Middle Ages. Catholic popes had insisted the Earth was flat - simply because it looked flat to the casual observer - just as a UFOlogist will ignore even the most basic scientific principles simply because they interfere with his dreams/hopes/fantasies of greenish aliens visiting Earth, simply because he sees a photo of a UFO.
Is there any evidence of faster-than-light travel? No. It's all pure speculation. Is there any evidence that worm-holes can actually - not theoretically - be used for covering vast distances in short amounts of time? No. Yet UFOlogists had already decided that this is easily achievable and that our fictional green "neighbours" already have that capacity. Proof? None.

Just because the universe is so vast does not mean that ANYTHING will or can happen in it - especially within the relatively narrow stretch of time during which our Solar System has been in existence.

Just like other religions, UFOlogy picks and chooses the parts of science that suits it, and discards the rest as "rubbish" - or very childishly pretends it isn't there.

Just like other religions, UFOlogists dabble in pseudo-science, wanting so badly to be taken seriously by the scientific community, but they fail miserably because their methods are anything but scientific.

4) Many former Christians are now UFOlogists. Did they become atheists? No. They merely switched religions. It is very rare for believers to become total non-believers; that rarely happens. Religious folk who abandon the religion handed to them at birth usually replace it with something else that is equally unintellectual yet promising of bliss, glory and adventure: Marxism, UFOlogy, New Age esoteric nonsense, i.e. anything else that can fill that lust for religious belief - a void that is always there in such individuals.

Many current Christians have become UFOlogists. Sometimes people who already exist within a religious system adopt UFOlogy as a sort of "additional fun plaything" that makes Jesus even more interesting. 

"Hey, we thought Jesus was cool for dying for our sins, but how about Jesus being an alien from planet Zong! Wow, how cool is that!"

5) Just like Creationists, UFOlogists insist that they have "abundant evidence" of the hogwash they believe in. In fact, just like those desperate, luckless Creationists, UFO aficionados have absolutely nothing. Zilch. Nada. No proof whatsoever. 

That is why they are so loud and persistent - because bullshit can be swallowed only when force-fed - and for a long period of time. Liars always shout the loudest.

Don't give in to bullshit. Don't be a sheep.

6) Like other religious fanatics, UFOlogists are driven by emotion, not rational thought. Just as Christians, Moslems, or Jews, UFOlogists are driven by the need to believe. This incredibly strong urge overrides any logic, facts, or science. UFOlogy is a security blanket for its adherents.
"What did you say...? There are no aliens among us?... But I NEED my aliens! You're lying. That's it, you're a liar. You're full of shit, you non-believer!"

7) Christians and Moslems have God who knows and controls everything. Certain UFOlogists have god-like aliens that know and control everything.


The notion that an ultra-mega-guga-giga-developed species would bother traveling all the way from whatever corner of our galaxy (or even sillier - a different galaxy!) just to see what our bumholes look like from the inside, implies that these aliens are either: 1) utter idiots, (which wouldn't make sense), or 2) shit/ass-fetishists.

If you want to believe in green insect-like genius shit/ass-fetishists that roam the universe looking for bums to poke into, then be my guest. Just don't try to inject science into it because you frankly only end up making yourself look even dumber. 

Just so you don't think I am being too flippant about this, consider the fact that many alleged abduction victims/witnesses whose stories are taken seriously by many UFOlogists have stories that entail ass-probing and the like.

The fact that aliens are often portrayed as ass-probing perverts tells us in no uncertain terms that this rather unscientific idea stems from the mind of some silly, clueless, imaginative science-challenged human, and not from any actual "abducted victim survivor" of an anal probe.

The idea of anal-probing can be traced back to the very human fear of rape (the one way with which both sexes can be sexually assaulted): perhaps that's all it is. Having your bum-hole forcibly poked is the ultimate physical intrusion, which might be why this cretinous anal-probing shtick made it all the way into UFO lore. "What would make aliens truly frightening? If they raped us!"

UFOlogists project their own sexual obsessions, perversions and fear onto their fictional alien darlings, and that includes rape. 

This is similar to how they project their own sense of aesthetics i.e. their own subjective expectations on how aliens should look. As a result, aliens are most often either spielbergian or insect-like, depending on whether the UFOlogist in question wants his aliens peace-loving and "cute" or violent and fear-inducing. Because many people are disgusted and afraid of insects they choose to view aliens that way.

An insect-like alien obsessed with the urge to stick metal objects into humans? 
What normal people laugh at, UFOlogists take as a very probable fact.

Then again, as a friend of mine pointed out, perhaps aliens know of some secrets that the human ass might hold - especially the bum-hole of an American redneck. Perhaps the meaning of life itself is to be found up our comically-designed fannies, and these smart aliens know it (but obviously aren't capable of obtaining that knowledge too speedily hence keep coming back for more probes).

Other behavioural stereotypes attributed to all these highly fictional alien invaders are usually just as dumb.

Apparently these highly-advanced beings are too stupid to analyze humans without having to stick large metal objects into them. That's what's called "wanting to have your cake and eat it too" (a phrase I am forced to use on several occasions in this text) i.e. one of many blatant contradictions in UFOlogy. 

How would a typical UFOlogist respond to this? He'd probably say "we cannot know the ways of the aliens", which is just about the same as "the Lord moves in mysterious ways" i.e. yet another parallel with religions.


Any travel-happy aliens would first have to know about our existence before wasting tremendous energy, resources and time on getting all the way here.

The surest way - and also the only way - they could find out about us are radio-waves. They travel at the speed of light, i.e. have a speed limit. I.e. they take a helluva long time to get around in the unimaginably large universe we inhabit.

The earliest radio signals produced by humans (and sent into outer space) are just over 100 years old. This means that only those planets that exist within a 100-light-year radius from us would be able to detect them hence find out about us. There are extremely few planets within this radius.
Back in the 50s, when aliens supposedly massively visited us, that radius was even smaller.

Keep in mind also that any aliens receiving our radio-waves right now for the first time would need over 100 years to reach us - and that's assuming that they'd developed ultra-mega-guga-giga spaceships that travel at the speed of light, which is an assumption that cannot simply be made off-hand, based on the cliche notion that ALL aliens must be super-advanced and make humans seem like dumb insects by comparison.

On the other hand, the fanciful and highly romantic notion that aliens simply roam the galaxy randomly, like Hollywood cowboys roaming the prairie, looking for undiscovered bums to anally probe, is asinine. "They just happen to have bumped into Earth". Surely, any intelligent beings would be just as limited by resources, vast distances and the very limiting laws of physics us we are, hence would travel only to regions where they more-or-less know what to expect. The idea that an alien ship would just HAPPEN to bump randomly into our solar system must have been concocted by someone who sees the universe as being the size of a watermelon.

To negate this simple and obvious scientific fact (that laws of physics limit us ALL) would be to consider aliens as powerful as gods. And I've already covered that nonsense.


Either your green bugs are utterly superior or they're just as clumsy and stupid as we are. Make up your damn mind.

UFO fanatics believe in mega-guga-giga-advanced ultra-intelligent species that are able to do pretty much anything they want i.e. creatures with limitless powers.

And yet, these same UFOlogists also believe that such advanced, practically perfect beings (for whom we must appear as mere ants) would be stupid and clumsy enough to be detected while trying to hide from us, and that they'd actually be sloppy enough to leave clues of their visits for anybody to find (especially village idiots, kids, and drunks who somehow always seem to be around when an alien spaceship lands somewhere in rural Kansas).

Surely, such advanced creatures would have no problems whatsoever in ensuring that they not be detected or seen by any single human if they choose to - and yet there are thousands of alleged sightings of these "secretive aliens".

This contradiction is blatant and moronic, and gives insight into the child-like thinking of UFOlogists. They are constantly bending and twisting logic to suit their own ends.

This sort of shit is the best they've got.

If you think the blurriness is a coincidence, then you're an even bigger fool than Sean Penn.

In this day and age, when any idiot can produce crystal-clear photos and videos with the cheapest cameras, there is absolutely no excuse that UFO sightings still always turn out to be shit-looking.

The reason why they're always blurry - and always will be - is the same as why all Loch Ness monster clips are blurry, and why Bigfoot always looks like a distant blurry man dressed in a shoddy ape-suit: because all of it is bullshit designed to make money, or attract attention.
Proofs don't get any proofier than this amazing piece of evidential proofanity. The science of proofifying very evident evidence is an activity UFOlogist proof-meisters have fine-tuned into a perfect art.

Every single "alien ship" photo and film-footage has been disproved as being either fake, as physical phenomena that can be explained scientifically, as a military craft, or a result of various optical illusions. UFOlogists flat out LIE when they say this isn't the case.

UFOlogists trust their own senses more than they do science - and that alone tells us how clueless they are, and how little they understand about the human senses i.e. how flawed and unreliable they can be. 

Fact is, UFO desperates still haven't got an iota of physical proof, or a photo or anything whatsoever. This is where their bullshit comes in: when you're stuck without evidence, then bullshit, religious fervour, cheap sensationalism, and lies are all you've got left.


The art of NOT jumping to conclusions. Calm, rational, truthful, scientific analysis is what this man and his goons are about...

Just look at this baby-faced charlatan with his silly attention-grabbing hair and ridiculous solarium tan. Would you actually believe ANYTHING someone like this said?

He is a litmus test for bullshit. He is the bullshit meme of our age. And it's no coincidence that a prominent UFOlogist had become a meme for bullshit.

If he had been born 150 years earlier, he would have been one of those scoundrels who sold fake medicine bottles to the desperately ill. Every generation has its brigade of charlatans and crooks, and it is our job to weed them out, point them out, and make them stay out - of science. It's not our job to foolishly fall for their bullshit.

The History Channel once started out as a documentary channel, but has recently degenerated into yet another tool of intentional dumbing-down of the increasingly stupid masses, because bullshit sells much better than truth. People love their bullshit; they prefer to be lied to.


Ancient-Aliens UFOlogists cannot give ANY credit to our human ancestors - for anything. They strip ancient civilizations of ALL achievements - just so they can advance their infantile horseshit theories. In their eyes, all our ancestors - whether Mayan, Egyptian, Chinese or Inca - were far too stupid and incompetent to have built or devised or achieved anything that required any kind of skills in mathematics or engineering.

In brief, a UFOic conclusion: "our ancestors were a bunch of dummies who had everything to thank our green ancient alien buddies for".


This is how easily UFO freaks get duped. They see this sculpture hanging on a Spanish cathedral, and their mouths start to water! Of course, they don't even want to consider for a moment that appearances might deceive. How many of them actually bother to find out that this cute little thing was commissioned in 1992? It's not part of the original 1102-made edifice, and that's the one fact relating to this object they don't want to know about.

Denial is the escapist route of the perpetual coward.

Those who foolishly believe that ancient aliens provided the first steps toward the development of human civilization totally negate all the hard work, intelligence, and innovation that actual REAL people put into constructing amazing structures such as the pyramids.

UFOlogists find it hard to believe that humans can do anything on their own - perhaps because these UFO clowns themselves feel inadequate and incompetent. In psychology, this is called "projection". They project their own stupidity and lack of self-esteem onto our ancestors many of whom were geniuses compared to these UFO-hugging dummies.

It is here where the similarities between Marxism and UFOlogy start to become apparent: So intensely arrogant is Ancient-Aliens/UFOlogist lunacy that they give themselves the right to attempt to re-write all of history - from scratch. Just like Marxists. And just like Marxists, UFOlogists refuse to give our ancestors much credit for anything. Hence, it is no surprise that Marxists and UFOlogists also share similar psychological anomalies and aberrations.

Ancient-Aliens UFOlogists will hijack any ancient ruin, building, ornament or statue and claim it as their alien own. The more advanced the building, and the weirder-looking the figurine, the more excited they get - as if weirdness and large size somehow automatically equate to "extraterrestrial". And as always, they haven't an iota of proof.

Like all zealots, UFOlogists seem to always steer toward extremes:

Rule no.1: aliens are perfect, advanced in every way, flawless (except when they get found out by incredibly ingenious village idiots and hicks) and great (i.e. god-like), and much like gods if not actual gods (which again reveals the religious-wise "thinking" that guides all UFOlogists).

Alien-built noses just weren't built to last.

Rule no.2: humans are just silly little pawns, goofy mindless marionettes who couldn't have achieved anything without a great amount of help from superior aliens.

The one-track-mindedness of UFOlogists should make you question their sanity, common-sense, and in many cases their honesty as well. 


There isn't an iota of proof, not a speck of evidence, not a milligram of an indication that humans stem from some sort of "alien seed" placed here on Earth thousands of years ago by god-like green schmucks, as is explored in rather embarrassing, fictitious and cretinous detail on History Channel's opportunistic and bullshit "Ancient Aliens" serial.

It's akin to believing in dragons, witches, or haunted houses. Infants and gullible adults do that.

Still not convinced? Scientologists believe in alien visitors too.
Their entire philosophy is based on that nonsense. It reads like a cheesy pulp sci-fi comic-book.

The fact that the likes of Tom Cruise and John Travolta believe in this shit isn't in itself proof that alien ships haven't visited Earth - I am fully aware of that - but it is useful to know what kinds of well-known public clowns belong to the ever-growing number of UFOlogists. These two egotistical, self-obsessed, naive, semi-literate schmucks are very indicative of the types of people who choose to believe. And if you think Scientology is the last new religion to be developed centering around this alien nonsense, think again. There will be more, and some might be even dumber than that.


If UFO freaks had their way, and "Ancient Aliens" were included in the school curriculum as a subject, this would be their text-book of choice.

Why don't the Middle Ages, the Ancient Greeks or Ancient Egyptians have abundant drawings, theories, stories and speculations about all those aliens? By that I mean real evidence, not bullshit.

The answer is obvious. Because it's only the advent of the technological age (the 20th century) that gave us the chance and the idea to dream of aliens hence dream up laughable hypothesis about alien UFOs, their visits, the anal-probes, and all the other green-related malarkey. Before 30s pulp comics and 50s B-movies hardly anyone even thought of alien creatures. And H.G. Wells came just a little before that.



Apparently, aliens prefer to anal-probe Americans. UFOlogists never offer any explanations for this stupid phenomenon.

There is no logical reason why such a ridiculously disproportionate percentage of sightings should be in the States and the UK - other than the obvious fact that Americans and the Brits are the biggest fans of this nonsense hence make up this drivel and believe in it more than other people.

Left: A starving Angolan man has more pressing issues - such as bare-naked survival - to attend to, hence has no time for dreaming of alien visitation, which is why he doesn't see any. You see what you want to see, that is human behaviour. Right: Many Americans and other westerners are well-fed hence severely bored, seeking new thrills to fill their empty lives with. UFOs are as fun a waste-of-time activity as any.

One almost equates UFOs with America, that's how closely linked they've been since the 50s. Only in recent years has UFOlogy spread more outwards. Now we have UFO suckers almost everywhere in great numbers. We have America's cretinous pop culture to thank for that, in part.

Our pathologically shy alien visitors must hate the Russian cold, the African heat, and European architecture. Yeah, that must be it; that must be why they usually choose to visit the States. Or perhaps American cows and drunks are much easier to beam up and ass-rape.


Those few scientists that advertise UFOs are the kind of greedy dishonest bastards who don't have any moral qualms about making money off disinformation. Sort of like amoral intellectuals who decide to support extreme Right-wing or Left-wing tyrannies for personal profit (won't mention any names cough cough Noam Chomsky).

Intelligent people choose to listen to expert opinion. Fools choose to get all of their "education" on YouTube's numerous UFO channels.

If you think scientists' majority view on scientific issues isn't relevant, then it's best you stop reading this list right now. Switch on your TV. Oprah is on. Or wrestling.

A lying amateur - according to UFOlogists.

Why are UFOlogists so un-scientific? 

A scientist conducts experiments to find out or confirm the end-result - and he does this with an open mind - whereas a UFOlogist already knows (or thinks he knows) the answer in advance i.e. he bends and twists facts to suit the end-result which he so fiercely protects from all logic, common-sense, skepticism and science.

The gov't painted them purple to make 'em less conspicuous.

SECRECY = ALIENS: a well-known bullshit equation used by UFOlogists; if there is a secret, it must be UFO-related

EXTREME SECRECY = ALIENS HAVE ALREADY INFILTRATED SOCIETY: another well-known bullshit formula, their favourite

Your tiny brain is what they're hiding, Bill Birnes. And as the tiniest object in the universe, it's pretty damn easy to hide!

Not all prominent UFOlogists - i.e. the daftly named "UFO hunters" - are liars. Some of them are genuinely retarded, i.e. just as stupid as they appear.   

These typical UFOlogist equations are used time and time again as a means of "proving" various military/government conspiracies. But wild theorizing and conjecture do not constitute evidence. Reasons for top secrecy are numerous. To utilize ONE all-purpose explanation for ALL cases of top secrecy is child-like simplification carried to the extreme.

Just because the military has secret installations in which they conduct various tests that are away from public view or knowledge does not in the least have ANYTHING to do with green monsters from outer space. To make that kind of a deductive leap is infantile to the extreme. "The military is actually involved in secret activities??? How can that be possible?! They must be hiding aliens! That's the only explanation!" This is the thought process of a child.

UFO loons and charlatans often use this argument. "The military won't say anything, hence they must be hiding something in there, hence they must be hiding aliens". Desperate conjecture, that's all it is. Wild guessing is all they have, since absolutely nothing they offer is the least bit scientific.

The state of mind of many UFOlogists.

Studies indicate that people consumed with fear i.e. more prone to panic and paranoia tend to embrace wild conspiracy theories more readily, because they offer neat "answers" (albeit bullshit ones) which in turn make these people feel less insecure and less fearful; these "answers" give them a false sense of "security" because they believe they'd figured out and understood mysteries which plague their unstable psyches. It's fairly simple: fear (rational or not) leads to obsession, and obsession leads to irrational modes of thinking hence rash and illogical conclusions. This type of fear had lead many of our ancestors to sacrifice animals and humans to various imagined gods, some of them represented by celestial objects such as the Moon or the Sun. When fear, confusion and naivety combine, a mess is always the result.


If only it had anything to reveal.

Think about it. WHY would a bunch of politicians keep something like a discovery of an alien ship a secret? Sure, they'd perhaps keep it secret for a short while, but not forever because there is no logical reason for such all-out paranoid infinite secrecy.

Even if there were aspects of an alien-UFO find that a government wanted to keep secret (such as new weaponry), they could always reveal the details that aren't related to that specific aspect and keep certain parts secret.

In fact, any U.S. President would be absolutely THRILLED to have such a monumental discovery be presented to the world under HIS mandate. It would be a boon for his re-election campaign, if anything, and a huge boost for his own Ego to go down in history as THE man whose government first encountered and had contact with an alien race.

All believers in wild theories love to include extreme secrecy into their stupid stories because this (they believe) allows them to argue the existence of nonsense that (technically) cannot be either proven or disproved.
How convenient, self-serving, and transparent. Burden of proof, anyone?

Just another 1942 UFO convention. (UFO fans, don't get too excited; there is a new thing we call "photo-shopping" that's been in existence for years now. This is a fake. No need to fear a joint Nazi-alien invasion any time soon.)



NASA bends over backwards trying to find half a microbe's leg or parts of a bacteria's arm on Mars. They've been trying DESPERATELY to find even the flimsiest of proofs of life on Mars, for decades, and then to try and sell it to us as "proof of life". Anyone who hasn't noticed this desperation yet hasn't been paying much attention. There was even that famous case when they had announced a startling life-proving find, but which turned out to be an error on their part.

Rather than play down any "breakthroughs" they'd had in recent years, NASA has being doing the opposite: any time someone found anything remotely giving hope of alien life, NASA was all over the news media, gleaming with joy. "We've got new indications of alien life on Mars!"

If NASA is that keen on advertising negligible finds on distant Mars as proof of life, then how do you think they'd react if they or SETI actually detected a round space-ship floating above an Iowa cow's head?

They'd let us know about it about a minute later. 


Americans hadn't even succeeded in keeping its nuclear-weapon secrets safe from the Russians and the Chinese, so what cause is there to believe that they'd be any more successful in hiding an entire alien ship or aliens from the rest of the world? Especially for over half-a-century! (Hint hint, Roswell.) The recent scandals with Snowden and Wikileaks have shown us that no secret information is totally safe anymore.

Any large conspiracy must by definition involve a large number of people. To actually believe that none of these people would eventually betray the main conspirators by going to the media (for profit or fame) is very naive indeed. People simply aren't that disciplined or reliable.

UFOlogists focus so much on non-existent alien visitors that they sometimes forget the basic character traits of humans that do exist and surround them.

Aliens have no shame. Always coming to our solar system in the nude, the decadent bastards.


Perhaps... maybe... what if... supposing that... if we assume that... if... if... if... if... 

These is the vocabulary they use, because they have no facts to offer. It's all conjecture, one big pile of shit. Semantic vagueness is their "weapon"; a series of non-arguments and very weak arguments piled up on top of another, leading to the always inevitable - and highly desired - conclusion that alien UFOs are all over the Solar System.

When you start off with a bullshit premise and you then build a whole series of assumptions atop and around that bullshit premise, what do you get? Extraterrestrials on Earth? No. You get a large pile of extraordinary bullshit. You can't build a house using soft mud as its foundation, but this is how UFOlogy works.

Using the "what if... let's assume... maybe if" line of non-thinking I can easily "prove" that a large, 5-horned rhino is the President of Portugal. Using that kind of semantic nonsense you can literally "prove" anything you want. The possibilities are endless. Especially if you are unaware of the concept of the burden of proof.

"Could this actually be a secret meeting between members of the Portuguese cabinet?!!! Prove that it's NOT the case."

Burden of proof? UFO freaks don't understand it.

The f**kers are everywhere.


When they tell you that "aliens are among us, controlling all the governments, hence the truth about UFOs is hidden from the public" then you should have no choice but to become even firmer in your conviction that this whole UFO hoopla is a load of childish crap designed to make certain people rich, or at least famous.

What does "self-serving argument" mean? For those of who don't know, here's an example. A man claims to have discovered an ancient civilization of blue-anus leprechauns in Ireland - but when asked for proof he claims that he is sworn to secrecy as to their exact whereabouts because if he divulges this secret the leprechauns would destroy all of humanity. That sort of thing. That is a self-serving argument, i.e. an argument constructed in such a way as to serve the person who invented the bullshit in question, and to (supposedly) safeguard him/her from having to offer any evidence for the claim.

Any time somebody is forced to resort to lofty conspiracy theories in order to convince you of something, know that the person is desperate for arguments hence has nothing of value to tell you.

UFOlogists have devised a number of quasi-elaborate self-serving theories that preclude these theories being even questioned, let alone disproved. They have nothing to offer in the concrete-proof scientific arena, so they dabble in wild conjecture and conspiracy theories - the last resort of the desperate fool or liar. 


Not one so-called witness has ever offered a speck of actual physical proof - other than their laughable tales of abduction, anal-probing, anal tests, anal tickling, and then being dumped on a cow-grazing field in Idaho after the anus had been thoroughly ravaged.

There is much money to be made from this UFO horseshit. It is a big business, a growing and lucrative one, and many desperate losers and greedy charlatans out there know that very well. If you choose to believe those loser "witnesses", than you're an even bigger loser than they'd ever been.

Cows - the perpetual plan B.

Confused UFO children, learn this little "poem":

Anything in a wild claim is possible.
Not everything in a wild claim is probable.
Even fewer things in a wild claim are plausible.
And extremely few things in a wild claim are actual.

And read another excellent article on this subject: 

Had enough of UFOs? Perhaps the latest issues of "Nationalist Geographic" tickle your interest? 


  1. There, there is your asnwer. Open up your mind.

    1. I think you want me to open it just so you can throw garbage into it, such as this link. No thanks.

      Michio Kaku has been bullshitting his viewers for years. He's realized that he can make a lot more money making up shit than talking about actual hard science. It's the Age of the Idiot, and he's out to make as much money out of these idiots as he possibly can.


    2. Wow! Excellent post. I would suggest you consider another reason why space aliens have never and will never visit Earth. The Earth has had sentient life on it for about 1/30,000th of its existence, just the last tiny sliver of its history, and it is about 80 percent through its habitable period. Only a handful of species last longer than a couple million years. The chance of sentient life reaching (assuming all the other insurmountable obstacles were overcome) a planet that actually had sentient life on it *at the same instant in time* is unbelievably tiny. Imagine two colonies of bacteria on opposite sides of the Earth. Each of them will live for any two-week period inside of a 1000-year span, but likely some span of time will separate them, years or hundreds of years. Still, let's assume their two-week lifetimes overlapped completely. So, members of one of the colonies of bacteria travels to the other side of the Earth and finds the other colony, without having any knowledge whatsoever that it existed, or where it was. That's what we're up against. Immense stretches of time separate species, as well as incredible distances. The scale of living things is so incredibly brief and tiny, yet the universe is long and huge. At best, sentient species pass each other like trains in the night, with millions of years and thousands of light years keeping them apart.

    3. First of all, Michio Kaku never said that these UFO are actually ships maneuvered by aliens. Second: Michio Kaku makes *conjectures* about fictious civilizations technologically more advanced than us. It does not mean that such sightings are actually ships visiting us from civilizations more advanced than us. Two very different things!
      Finally, Michio Kaku talks about "new Physics". OK. Even if "warp drive" (which is a *conjecture* at this point) can be demonstrated to be physically reasonable; even if ships employing "warp drive" can be built someday... these fictional/imaginary future events would not debunk all other arguments presented here in this article.
      For more information about "warp drive" see this:
      @Ivan Abbaco :: read the section on "Difficulties" too... not only those parts which feed your belief system.

    4. I have actually heard and seen Kaku talk about how alien ships are quite likely to have visited Earth, hence he is no better than all those cretins and liars on "Ancient Aliens" that spout bullshit for the gullible, badly-informed, uneducated masses - especially that tanned charlatan with the funny hair who's become a sort of internet symbol not only for UFO-related bullshit but bullshit in general.

      The less said about Kaku's wild prognosis for the future, the better. He is a money-hungry sell-out; a highly respected scientist who has thrown away integrity for a few bucks, hence his views no longer matter to me. He is one of those "hipster" TV scientists who crave attention, fame, and fortune above all. I'd rather listen to a nerdy, shy girl with glasses because that type of scientist is a lot more likely to tell you the truth than these "sciento-rockstars" with bombastic speeches and in-your-face posturing.

      Warp-drive is an entertaining joke. You watch too much "Star Trek", too little real science.

      Btw, "kaku" means "shit" (in the Accusative case) in Serbian. Quite fitting.

    5. Kaku is one of the several scientists who (possibly) make a lot of money from fame and media. But he uses words like "could", and "might" instead of "can" and "must". For a native English speaker, it should be clear that he is saying nothing more than *conjectures*. If masses are not able to tell the difference between "can" and "could"; and between "must" and "might"... oh, well... this is pitty and not Kaku's fault.

      I understand you point against Kaku and I see some validity on your case. I disagree a bit: I think that Kaku contributes to curiosity on peoples minds, in particular the young, who eventually chose the root of Science (instead Religion) in order to try to address this curiosity. I've always seen/heard Kaku saying very intriguing things... but he always employs the correct wording: "could", "should", "might"... as I already explained.

      Science is made of conjectures and suppositions, actually. And this is good, because it allows scientists to "think laterally" and eventually propose a *theory* or even a *law* which started by a humble *conjecture*. Name a scientific Theory or Law... and you will find a conjecture behind it.

      "Warp drive" is a fictional thing and it must not be confused with "Alcubierre Drive".

      Whist "warp drive" is a sci-fi thing that born decades before Star Trek, "Alcubierre Drive" is a *conjecture* which is being investigated by serious scientists and backed by NASA. Only serious scientific research will tell how much of this conjecture is actually reality. At the moment: nothing. AFAIK, scientists are still in very early research and were not able to accelerate not even a subatomic particle beyond velocity of light.

      Btw: "kaku" in portuguese does not mean anything.

    6. There are only so many COULDs and MIGHTBEs one can use before one starts sounding silly. In "Ancient Aliens" COULDs and MIGHTBEs get abused in the millions - per episode, don't think I haven't noticed. I pay close attention to every word that is being said. Constructive speculation is one thing, wild theorizing is another.

      For example, I can say that "there might be chicken-sized humpback whales who speak Chinese that live in Eastern Nepal" and could anybody refute me 100%? THEORETICALLY, anything is possible, I suppose. But that kind of dreamy fantasizing is far-removed from serious science, though certainly has a place in fiction and children's stories, but otherwise forget it.

      Kaku USED to inspire kids to get interested in science. Not anymore. By bullshitting his viewers and readers with far-fetched fairy-tales of alien visitors he is doing the opposite - he is encouraging them to think like religious fanatics and other deluded fools.

      This whole obsession with aliens visiting Earth is nothing more than an extension of religious thinking. I've already mentioned this in one of the points. People disillusioned with religion or even the idea of all-powerful gods ow whatever drift toward UFOlogy which is just another place of cozy comfort for their unrealistic expectations.

      Just because NASA is working on something doesn't mean they will succeed - at all. The notion that mankind or some green far-flung aliens can achieve ANYTHING is absurd, and totally negates the harsh reality of an unforgiving cosmos in which we are merely specks of shit.

      One of Kaku's many idiotic arguments is the one used by many people: "well, nobody believed that airplanes could be possible 150 years ago - yet look at us now!" The fallacy of that argument implies that scientific progress must always continue in leaps and bounds, i.e. that there is no limit to human achievement. Utter nonsense, of course.

  2. Kaku sounds to me as a visionary about the future. He is not alone, by the way. He is one of the few scientists who appear on TV and conferences that spread to the public what is going on in academia and research centers around the world. Most things Kaku says have good chances to happen but, as all visionaries, not everything he says will ever happen. Again: he always use the correct wording: could/would/should/might. So, they are only conjectures and should be considered as such. I guess that people in general do not observe that wording because they are scientifically illiterates.

    When I mentioned NASA, I meant to say that there's serious research backing Alcubierre's conjecture. The conjecture itself was reviewed theoretically many times. Experimental research only started when the maths and physics pointed out that the idea is relatively reasonable. It does not mean that any positive result is certain to be achieved, though.

    Even though Alpha Centauri is hundreds of thousands times farther from Earth than the Sun is, it does not necessarily means that it cannot be reached. We don't know anything about this at this point. It's necessary to go ahead with scientific research in order to determine whether spaceflight can be achieved or if it is simply far too expensive to be done by mankind.

    Cheers :)

    1. Richard, I agree. These things are highly implausible but we must continue to try to develop these technologies. I have a feeling, though, that even if we developed the ability to travel between solar systems in weeks instead of centuries, we'd find very few with life and of those, sentient life either came and went millions of years ago, or will not take place for millions of years - or some planets may never develop any sentient life.

  3. Wow, you really are a simple, closed-minded bigot. This whole page is a bunch of garbage, and I am sad that I took the time to read 1/10th of it.

    1. Hey, Astro2069, whatever happened to the first few thousand astros?

      I have been called many things, but never a bigot for not believing in little green alien bastards.

      It's the "green bastards" thing, isn't it? Don't tell me the Left has already declared that a racial slur, as well.

      I hereby change your name to AstroSmurf3000. That should give your inner geek a moral boost, huh?

  4. What a narrow minded little piece of spunk you really are.You talk shit and have no evidence to back up any of your rant!! There is loads of evidence on youtube of ufo's and the like maybe not all of them are ufo's but you cant discount it all!! And these alien civilizations who are visiting us could be thousands perhaps millions of years more advanced than our civilisation!!!.Now crawl back under your rock and shut the fuck up dickhead!!

    Lee Smyth

    1. Ladies & Gentleman - an alien UFO believer. College: YouTube University. Degree: Advanced Bullshitology.

      I rest my case.

  5. Your reasons for not believing are based on a belief system that might itself be flawed. You believe they would have to travel vast distances over time, but we just do not know that is the case. For one, this universe could be a simulation on some advanced hard drive. This is theoretically possible. To travel here they'd simply plug themselves into the system in some way. Or, approaching the problem from a quantum mechanics point of view, who knows what is possible when you consider things like quantum entanglement? Also, you might want to check out Professor Leonard Susskind's lectures on the Holographic Universe at Stanford University. He knows his shit - he beat Stephen Hawking in a 30 year debate regarding black holes. And if the universe is a flat 2 dimensional plane of information, then travelling from point A to point B might not be so impossible.

    Then you go on to say that they wouldn't need to remain secret. Well, how on Earth do you know what their agenda is? You're just guessing based on your very limited knowledge. If we were millions of years more advanced and had the capability to exploit other planets without the local inhabitants knowing, do you think we would do it? Of course we would. We do it now to other countries, and we'd do it to other planets if we could. Keeping our activities a secret would be highly beneficial. You see, there are other ways of thinking about things.

    Don't forget, this universe (most probably a multiverse) is very old, much older than you think. If something can come from nothing once, then it can come from nothing an infinite amount of times, otherwise who was there to say "No more something from nothing now. That's quite enough something from nothing."? What this means is, whatever can exist, does exist. The implications are mind blowing. What it basically means is, whatever can be mastered has been mastered by someone or something, somewhere. It means they do exist. They are out there, and they can come and go from here at will. They can control us in any way they want. All this is based on logic that has never occurred to you before, but that's okay because it hasn't occurred to most people.

    1. Your point about "this universe could be a simulation on some hard drive" is valid, but only in a highly philosophical i.e. wildly speculative context. If we were to apply that LSD-induced line of thinking, then ANYTHING would be possible, including serial-killers being innocents manipulated by alien forces which would mean we could not go on an carry out their executions or punish them. We could also assume that the Real Hitler and Stalin were really nice guys REPLACED by aliens. We could assume that humans were created in the left testicle of a massive alien ass that floats around the universe spreading semen randomly. We could assume that the universe is actually just a silicone tit of some multiversial multi-dimensional whore.

      There you go, I can wildly speculate like the best of 'em. Forget philosophy and what MIGHT be true in some shaky quasi-theory based on layers and layers of taken-out-of-thin-air sci-fi-like conjecture and assumptions. We need to work with what we HAVE and KNOW, not what is philosophically POSSIBLE. ANYTHING is possible. That sort of speculation may be fun, and might occasionally even help in science, but by-and-large it's fanciful, mostly childish nonsense,

      You keep denying the scientific facts I offer you in the list, yet on the other hand you conveniently (and self-servingly) gladly ACCEPT totally unproven notions about "what might be", and from there you develop a whole array of nonsensical suggestions such as "how do you know what their agenda is?". WHOSE agenda? You have assumed their existence on this planet to be a certainty - without a speck of hard evidence, and then you proceed to make all these crazy conclusions.

      When I discuss alien intentions obviously I speculate, but I do it to mock UFOlogists who think they can get inside the mind of those secretive aliens. I cannot SERIOUSLY speculate what the intentions of NON-EXISTENT beings might be. You want them to be secretive and inexplicable - and yet you make all these assumptions about them as if they utterly fail in being detected and figured out. I repeat: the "them" I refer to are merely a figment of your wild imagination. Aliens do exist - yes - but not anywhere near us.

    2. You said they would never be able to travel here and I gave valid arguments as to how they could possibly travel here, including some that you just totally ignored. I didn't even mention the possibility of wormholes and extra dimensions, which are talked about in mainstream science. Incidentally, the possibility that we are in a simulation is also talked about in a BBC documentary that includes mainstream scientists. This is not some LSD trip my friend. Now, whilst the possibility that they could get here exists, for whatever reason, then it exists and you can't assert otherwise. That's that argument over, full stop. No amount of childish retorts can change that fact.

      You state that aliens wouldn't need to play hide and seek with us. How do you know? That statement is just hogwash. To make a statement like that implies that you know who they are and what their agenda is. Absolute nonsense.

      You say I ignore the scientific facts you offer. Well, you seem to ignore a lot of facts yourself. You simply cannot say they couldn't travel here because you don't know enough about the nature of the universe. There are too many unanswered questions to make such a statement. It's just not scientific. In science, you observe things and make reports. You don't assume things, which is what you are doing when you say they couldn't travel here.

      For your statements to be true, some of the world's most respected people would have to be liars, such as Apollo Astronaut Edgar Mitchell and Apollo Astronaut Gordon Cooper. Now, who do you think has the most credibility? You, with your childish retorts about "massive alien asses" or an MIT educated NASA astronaut? Come on.

      The reason for your current stance is not because of your knowledge, it's because of your lack of knowledge. I used to be where you are years ago until I learned more about the universe, but by learning more about the universe you come to the realization that there is so much more yet to learn and what we thought we knew is completely wrong. When you learn about quantum physics, you realize that this universe is nothing like we imagine. At the quantum level, time doesn't exist the way we think it does. Don't underestimate the implications of this. Imagine this could be manipulated, then anything is possible. Pairs of particles separated by millions, even billions, of miles can be connected and instantly react when one is changed. Einstein called it "Spooky action at a distance". This phenomena is like magic to us. With phenomena like this existing and how little we know about things like this, to say it is impossible for aliens to be able to travel here shows a level of ignorance. You need to learn more, and if you do, your stance will change.

    3. I would have preferred actual proof of alien visitation - as opposed to yet another bullshit-happy essay full of day-dreamy conjecture and speculative unprovable/undisprovable bullshit. UFOlogists are good at yapping, but are such miserable failures in actually PROVIDING PROOF.

      I will only touch on the dumbest points.

      1) Some NASA astronauts are religious loons. So much for higher education. Insanity can appear in the cleverest of heads. Not to mention greed for money and a need to be noticed. So you found a couple of astronauts (out of dozens) that spout bullshit. Applause. I can find a few top biologists who are creationists. WTF does that prove.

      2) How do I know aliens wouldn't need to play hide-and-seek? Well, that is a children's game, and I don't think they'd come all the way here to behave as if in a kindergarten. Besides, if you UFO goons can base everything on conjecture and speculation, providing an endless array of "facts" on what aliens are and aren't, then why can't I play a bit of that dumb game as well? Two can do the bullshit tango.

      3) Just because wormholes are TALKED about does not mean we are a millimeter closer to creating one - let alone using one like a pony to ride it into far-flung corners of the universe, or multiverse, nor does it in the slightest prove that any distant alien civilization, no matter how smart, can become so all-powerful as to wield such magical abilities Stop watching Mickey Mouse in Space cartoons, and grow up.

      Thanks anyway.

      D minus for the essay.

  6. I'm fine without having to "fight/argue" with people about their beliefs. You believe what you want and I will believe what I want.

    1. How about if we switch: you believe what I want to believe, and I believe in what you want to believe.

      On a slightly more serious note, I didn't realize that the existence or non-existence of alien craft coming to Earth was a matter of "belief". The fact that you regard it as a matter of belief - rather than an issue that has to be settled scientifically - only proves the point I made about UFOlogists as people who merely replace traditional religion with another fantasy - that of little green bastards. Much like Marxists replace Heaven with Utopia etc.

  7. Some ufo are reals don't tell me you never seen one in your entire life and I know some may be metorite or satellite wtv but some are totaly innexplicable.

    Patrice Gauthier

    1. I saw a Frisbee once! Does that count?

      Although, I might have thrown it myself, don't remember.

  8. ahaha apparently a blogspot post is TRUE FACTS. because if it is on blogspot IT MUST BE TRUE. plenty of the things that blog post says are sensible, but plenty are hearsay/assumptions/false. there is plenty of bullshit ufo theory but there are actually a minority of cases that are credible. project blue book. phil schneider. the valentich disappearance. the kinross incident. plenty of "proof" that extraterrestrials may have already visited earth. do your own research before you take a blog post as fact.


    1. So it's safe to say that you haven't read any of these points.

      Either that or it simply went SWOOSH way over your head.

      Ladies and gentlemen, a typical UFO fan.

  9. HAHAHAHA This blog is hilariously bad. It feels like a simple minded child created it who has been told by his parents what really goes on around the world. Just terrible.

    1. BrothaJeff, yo yo yo bro, whassup, homey!

      Yeah, we be childish here 'n' all, we be mixin' it up an' chillin', boy-ee!

      Peace, brotha.


  10. When you're chosen as the Messenger, it's not the most preferred life to live, although it is both gift and burden.
    Our traditional worldy religions did not account for the intervention of our planet now. There was no need to mention it, and prepare people, as humanity's need at the time was different.
    Now we face climate change, alien intervention, and are on the verge of becoming real participants in life in the universe! It's a big deal to say the least!

  11. Wow you put allot of work into that Blogg. Feel good now?, does it all really matter to you ? or is it just a Google thing so the spiders pick you up driving traffic more effectively ?
    If indeed you have some real soul about this topic you have posted on then I will answer using some intellect at a later date.

    1. Desperate human, you and your fellow UFO-hugging Earthlings do not realize that I - the Mighty PlanetSmasher from the Crappula Nebula - am the first alien ever to set foot on your silly little planet, and that was just last week. So all your puny little pieces of evidence are just a pile of what we Crappolians call "shit".

      I have been to all the corners of this fairly large galaxy, but I have never found as many foolish creatures as I have on this comical blue planet. You believe simply because you want to believe, and that kind of naivety is very amusing to us. We have been monitoring all of this nonsense from the Crappula Nebula for many decades and piss our pants regularly. Our laughter can be heard all the way to the Supersonic Multiverse, which is a tiny, remote corner of the Omniverse.

      Yes, we do wear pants. We are not all naked, at least not always.

  12. i look at all this shit to try and make some sense of what i have seen and dont i realy believe in little green men and i'm not religeoues either. you or i or anyone else knows fukall about whats realy happnin so dont pretend you do and dont presume you know anything about me have some respect and and i'll do the same.all's i'm trying to figure out is about some of the shit that i have done and has happened to me.


  14. Wow! Thanks for your attempt to straighten me out! That is the best case for against, that I have ever read. I could say that "me thinks you protest too much," but that would only fuel your argument further, and the lack of respect you have is already obvious with your condescending observation," half human half Martian," designation. We as HUMAN beings are explorers by nature. I can imagine that there was a similar argument proposed to Chris Columbus as he embarked to find the new world and prove that our world was round. I also believe in the scientific method of investigation as you also SEEM to. So you would understand that it all starts with a theory!
    I really enjoyed your paper and I sincerely hope that you would send me more if more occurs to you! Again thanks! Have a nice day!

    1. Earthling Rick Ethier, you can start saving your WOWs, because you will need plenty more of them - as you read the following!

      I knew Chris Columbus. I made him. He was what you puny silly little meaningless humans call "a nosy putz", and he was on the verge of discovering that ancient aliens are responsible for (nearly) ALL of mankind's "achievements" (ha ha the puny bipeds can do NOTHING without our assistance) so I had to "guide" him away from the source of all alien knowledge, the fountain of all greenish residue left by my colleagues: the Holy Grail. That chalice contained the proof that Jesus was indeed sent by us to start a Marxist uprising, but you silly humans mistook it for something else. So damn typical!

      Yes, Earthling Rick, the Holy Grail does exist and it is an ALIEN (green alien) artifact. More precisely, it was brought here by us Crappula-Nebula naked green aliens exactly about a million years ago, give or take a few thousand. (Our ancient alien memory is so ancient it isn't what it used to be.)

      Chris Columbus was a pushover, Hu-man Rick. All I needed to do was put the map upside-down while he was in the ship's toilet, and when he came back he took the wrong course and "discovered" America. Ironically, that is the same continent that would start the "20th-century UFO craze" because its inhabitants lead a good life and have nothing better to do with their time than imagine that they are SO important that us aliens spend entire eternities training you like monkeys to do things as we wish you to do them.

      As if we could be bothered, Hu-man Rick! We were here only on 3 occasions (I forget the years; damn, this Crappolian Alzheimers is getting the best of me!), and all we ever did was leave the chalice so that you Earthlings can drink Coca-Cola from it.

      Yes, Coca-Cola is OUR invention, and OUR gift to your irrelevant civilization. And we gave you Jesus, and we accidentally lead Christiansen Columbussen (yes, he was Danish) to America. But that is all we did. So, yes, I lied a little just then when I said we were responsible for all of your puny achievements.

      Do you think we would actually spend eons wasting our time here? Your polar bears taste quite nasty and the trees are far too small for peeing on. The less said about the pizzas the better! As soon as we got here the first time we immediately knew we wouldn't be coming back very often.

      If you have any more question, Earthling Rick, I will be unhappy to answer them.

    2. Hi, I had to check to see if I could find this question that you claim I asked, no luck but here is several that have been perplexing me!
      Question #1 Why can some individuals easily see congested cityscapes, structures, human looking people, aliens of every description, earth known animals, alien appearing creatures, flying vehicles of every design, plant life, water in the form of rivers, pools, and marshes, all from simple zooming into the depths of the official Nasa photographs, presumingly magnifying the small, relative to the size of the rover, and why can most people not seem see or fathom what the relatively few, are seeing?
      a. Why would Nasa intentionally embed multilayered scenes (possibly through a form of holographic layering) into official Mars rover photographs? Images that can be readily observed at minimally zoomed-in levels, even though seemingly, by only a relatively small percentage of people?
      b. Is it being used as an identification and information tool distributed via youtube/google?
      c. If these multi layered images are being used as bait, what would be the motives for identifying the relatively low percentage of individuals that do see these images, and of course the difference, the many who do not?
      Question #2 Are the official Nasa photographs, actual authentic photographs taken by the Nasa Mars rovers?
      a. If these photographs are authentic, why would Nasa present actual Mars rover photographs and then appear to do an incompetent job covering up the vast quantity of multi-layered images with fake sandy gravel matrix, rock matrix, and the employment of psychological tricks of the eye, ie. we tend to see what we expect to see, subliminals, and visual misdirection through changes in depth of perception, by applied devices, such as shadowing, and pastel blending?
      b. Assuming that the presented photographs are real, why would Nasa use doctored authentic photographs, risking being discovered in a conspiracy to cover up, suppress, and control the photographic information received via the Mars rovers's cameras?
      c. If these are actual Nasa photographs, are the many people, aliens, creatures, structures, and buildings real, irregardless of the seemingly purposeful (from the point of view of the few that readily perceive the images), incompetent attempt to conceal them?
      Question #3 Why are the sizes of structures, people, aliens, air ships, animals, creatures etc., so varied, and not applicable to a structured functional environment?
      a. Why does the relative size of human looking beings and aliens vary from, if the tiniest are about 1 inch or less, to the tallest observed, about 6 inches or more?
      b. Why does this size variance appear to apply to all the elements within the environments?
      c. Why is it that, the only consistency in regards to size, is that there is no consistency, other than with what seems to be the exception of numerous water ways?

    3. Rick, you seem like a genuinely nice guy, so I don't want to sound rude - when I say that you evidently haven't read much of my text. Perhaps you've merely skimmed through it like 95% of all the other UFO fanatics who simply don't want to be confronted with facts. Indeed, theirs - and your - belief is religious, just as I have stated, and all religious people hold their hands to their ears and go "HMMHHMHMMMHMMHHMH" so they don't have to listen to the unpleasant truth. Admit it, you have merely read the title of the 21 points, and haven't bothered to think about them for longer than a second.

      The answers to most of your queries can be found in the text. I have addressed nearly everything there is to address regarding this stupid UFO bullshit, at least the most relevant aspects of it. Read it - if you dare.

      I will only address the NASA nonsense. I do not work at NASA hence cannot tell you why they do this or that (if indeed they do half or any of the stuff you claim in your post). Your rabid paranoia regarding NASA and the fine minds that work there is worrying, to say the least. Your utter distrust in the human race - both in terms of achievement and sharing science with the general public - is pathological at best. Perhaps you should ask yourself first "why am I so paranoid? why do I not trust ANYONE at NASA or in Washington? are they all really that bad i.e. immoral decadent liars, or am I perhaps the one with a screw loose? and why do I have this burning desire to HAVE to believe in unproven bullshit? why do I need these aliens to exist and visit Earth?"

      Sincerely, your Crappula-Nebula alien friend

    4. One more thing. Go and pose these questions to NASA scientists. I am convinced there are perfectly logical and legitimate reasons for everything they do.

      You are NOT a world-renowned scientist nor do you work at NASA, yet you assume that you - the little YouTube Rick - have seen through ALL of their alleged tricks and shticks to "hide aliens" from the public. Do you really think you're that smart? You are convinced that you have figured out ALL of their supposed trickery, that you, the little Rick, have figured everything out.

      Unlike you, I do not claim to have all the answers regarding the universe, and unlike you I would RATHER believe the views of intelligent scientific minds than all the YouTube wannabes and other internet rabble (not meant to insult) most of whom lack even the most basic knowledge of physics, astronomy, astro-biology, cosmology etc.

      Can't you see how laughable that kind of approach is? You overestimate both your intelligence and your knowledge, while at the same time putting in question the morality of thousands of hard-working scientists. They're just people like you and me; so why project onto them all these evil schemes, all these evil traits, all these base motivations? I sense a narcissism in you UFO fanatics that is hard to match anywhere.

      More sincerity from your favourite Crappula-Nebula green alien, who rarely roams the universe naked, I might add

  15. If aliens ever do visit this pathetic planet, I hope they're Daleks. I've always liked Daleks.

  16. I find it none too surprising in the least that contestants from both sides of such an issue merge on a blog to separate fact from fiction by the inescapable forces of human egocentricity. One faction is determined to believe in something greater than themselves and the second is rooted solely in skepticism. Recognize the historical pattern here?

    Only fools observe footprints on their heels and become perplexed by their origin. Just a reminder that truth never looms at the point of extremes, for such places are too crowded by human emotion. If you wish to find the true meaning of life and existence in this universe, then forever seek questions rather than establish facts. The journey ends when you foolishly become convinced that you possess the answer to anything at all.

    Lastly, persons bound purely by faith lack the equilibrium of logic and those driven strictly by reasoning lack imagination. Collectively, they represent stagnation for they are eternally opposed. We can only be thankful that on the rarest of occasion, nature produces a human being guided by both faith and reason that permits us to take us another step forward.

    1. What poetry, wow. Are you an Indian baba, by any chance? I am literally shaking with religious epiphany! So convincing! Applause.

      Look, I am clapping my hands even though I am typing; can you prove I CAN'T do it? You don't believe me? Well, then you must belong to one side of the extreme spectrum, you little skeptic you. I tell you, Russ, I AM applauding AND writing this response at the same time because I have FOUR HANDS (and 9 legs btw). You don't believe me? "Just a reminder that truth never looms at the point of extremes", Russell. Your own words. You MUST believe that I have at least some excess of hands and legs otherwise you are just as bad as those poor souls "rooted solely in skepticism". OK, so you don’t believe that I have four hands and nine legs because that would be the UFOlogist i.e. religious approach. However, you may not believe that I have 2 hands and 2 legs because that would mean you have “a lack of faith”. So let’s settle on 3 hands and 5 legs; how about it, Russ? That would be that elusive ideal middle ground you seem to be so laughably talking about here.

      Hilarious post, Russ. So pretentious, so righteous, and above all else - so SELF-FLATTERING. Check this out, my favourite bit: "on the rarest occasion nature produces a human being guided by both faith and reason". A little birdy is telling you might be - just MIGHT be - talking about YOURSELF here. So glad I had the honour of meeting such an exalted rare human specimen such as yourself who has struck the EXACT, perfect, almost god-like balance between those silly little UFO fans and us narrow-minded little skeptics who dare give science the advantage over that bullshit you call "faith". In other words, you have just admitted that you agree that UFOlogy IS a belief, and that you are a believer, just like them, albeit a “smarter” believer. Or at least a “semi-believer” – whatever that means. We don’t know what it means, coz you never spelled it out, so busy were you with your self-idolatry nonsense.

      So let me recap - or translate, for those readers who might have a headache from your lofty soliloquy.




      Sorry, Russ-baby, but that's all your silly speech boils down to: your narcissism, your megalomania, your humourless self-importance, and your extremely misguided conviction that YOU have the answers – while very stupidly and ironically trying to ridicule anyone who thinks they have ANY of the answers. How very arm-chair-philosophical of you to make the bold claim (that only a Russian god can make) that nothing can be known for certain. Such cheese. Where did you read that? In a fortune-cookie? I do not claim to have all the answers, nor do even the silliest of my UFOlogy counterparts claim to have ALL the answers.

      "Truth never LOOMS (lovely wording, Russ) at the point of extremes". Duh, Russ. Of course it does, sometimes. Either a man accused of a murder is guilty or not guilty, i.e. the truth LOOMS at one "extreme" or the other. Or perhaps you'd bullshit your way out this one by stating, in typical Russanian Indian-guru tradition, that "we are ALL guilty of murder one way or another". That would be hilarious. I shouldn't have written that, I should have let YOU do it! For a laugh.

      Which leaves you where? At the bottom of this pathetic waste-site of confused humanity (what poetry, huh?), not at the top of it, as you deludedly believe.

      Have fun with your other internet projects.

    3. A man steeped in anger not at others, but rather at himself. Quite predictable indeed.

    4. Not as predictable as you projecting your own feelings onto me. You can't handle the anger, so you want me to have it instead. It's not my fault you got bummed by my 5-cent psychoanalysis of your out-of-control Ego, and are now lying half-naked in the pool of your own post-alcoholic-binge vomit. But 5 cents is all it took. You're transparent. Just another goofball who posted on my blog.










    1. Don't waste your time talking to a donkey, who thinks is smart, but it's a stupid blind! kkkkkk (LOL) He must be 8 years old!
      He's a headedness. The type of person who is not able to analyze something. Lack intelligence to realize that the universe is a system! If stars had been created to adorn the sky, wouldn't have stars, not visible to the naked eye! And there are millions! But for those who have no reasoning ability, it is better to believe in the impossibility though!

    2. This is better than "Dumb & Dumber"!

  18. I've responded to this essay and each point it makes own page, I encourage everyone to check it out, I've tried to keep my own opinions limited and address each issue this gentleman makes. I've certinly tried to address the issues he's raised without insulting his or anyones beliefs. Furthermore I only posted it there because to answer each point would be too many characters for the comment section, I'm not trying create my own traffic or anything.

    P.S. Yes I know I can't spell

    1. I also encourage people to check it out, because it reveals yet again the utter desperation of UFOlogists when confronted with facts. The most notable aspect about his "debunking" attempt is that he evidently hadn't read my list carefully, much less thought about it longer than one second per point, plus the fact that he failed to differentiate between the jokes, the semi-jokes (intended to make a point) and the serious points. In short: he failed to understand most of the points, even though they were written in a "UFO for Dummies" manner. That's exactly 21 seconds of thinking on his part, not enough by a long shot, certainly not when you want to "debunk" all 21 of those magnificent points. After those 21 seconds of rush-job thinking, he went into his UFO auto-pilot mode (no pun intended), i.e. spouting the usual unproven and unprovable nonsense that only a true believer can. "Jimmy Carter saw a UFO" - you know, the usual crap. As if Jimmy Carter is a measuring stick for anything.

      Still, at least he made an effort, and didn't drool with anger. At least I don't think he did.

    2. I'm not a UFOlogist I work in corrections actually. I did read your essay, twice in fact, word for word (just out of curiosity did you read mine?). I do realize you made jokes, I hope you realize I made jokes as well. In your essay you made a number of assumptions as did I and again there is nothing wrong with that. Also I had a typo in #2 (I know I had more than that) it was supposed to say "that they wouldn't send a diplomatic envoy either" sorry about that. I certinly did cite my sources and these things can be verified. Please check up on me read the work Dr Alcubierre or Dr Newcomb. And if I'm wrong if Dr Newcomb didn't say that please let me know. Now as to point 21 (the only one you responded too) Who is a credible witness?

      Still, no you do not have the ability to anger me. In addition to what I do for a living having taught me the value of seperating my opinions from my emotions I have no interest in being an internet troll. Also this isn't an issue thats near and dear to my heart, like I said I don't ETs are real I just haven';t heard a good arguement against it....

  19. May I ask you what you DO believe in? I'm not interested in pages of what
    you don't believe. You have many valid points in your post(and, yes, I did read it),
    but like you admit yourself, you do not have all the answers. No one does. So
    why don't you write what it is you do have solid facts for and educate us that way?
    And don't throw pages of emotional, defensive and angry retorts at me.
    KISS(whether you or I am stupid is irrelevant) Can you state
    what you do know to be true about how the universe works in one simple sentence?

    Love & Light,

    1. Dear Cathy, you must learn to differentiate between anger and sarcasm first. Not one single solitary retort on this entire page is angry - at least not from my side. As for your fellow Martian-huggers, they're the ones spitting venom left and right because like little children they choose to hate the messenger rather than listen to the message. The truth hurts, and I certainly feel their religious pain, hence cannot get angry at them. I might feel pity occasionally (and sometimes envy even, coz loons always have more fun), but that's the extent of my emotional involvement with them.

      Your post sounds angry. Perhaps you're projecting your own anger onto me. In fact, I could bet 385 fake UFO sightings that you are. Whether or not you're aware of that fact is a different matter.

      To answer one of your questions, I am an atheist. No, not a UFOlogist or Marxist atheist, but a real atheist. Nevertheless, being an atheist does not mean I have all the answers. It merely means I don't subscribe to unproven/unprovable bullshit. It is very easy to believe. It is much harder not to. You have chosen the easier path, the bullshit path. It's the more fun path hence why people opt for it.

      As for facts, I give you a plethora of them in the text. It's not my problem your brain is programmed (i.e. brainwashed) to automatically discard most facts into the bin hence fail to recognize them as such because recognizing them would mean having to abandon your precious fantasy world. Besides, didn't you say I made some good points? You say I have valid points, yet you insinuate the text contains no facts. What a strange contradiction.

      The last question is hilarious, regardless of whether it is tinged with rage or whether it’s to be taken literally, because it reminds me how most people think. You must think I am a great genius, a gift to mankind, an intellectual messiah, or? That the text impressed you so does not surprise me - but that much? No, my irrelevant little cosmic self cannot sum up "The Meaning of Life" (for that is what you really seek, isn't it) in one simple sentence, nor perhaps in a whole book. Only morons can expect such convenient, easy-to-digest, fortune-cookie simplicity, and only assholes can claim to have the answers for them. I don't know whether or not you are a moron, but I do know that I am not an asshole. At least not in this case.

      Love & Light? What in Spielberg’s name does that even mean? Just two words thrown together. I sense a presence... a New Age presence... Yes, the Force is strong with me, and it's telling me there is an esoteric person afoot. She talks to trees, walks barefoot, and sings hippie songs while caressing butterflies with her well-manicured L.A.-salon fingers… Am I close? (Relax, that was just a dumb joke. I wish you Americans were a little less “sensitive”. Everyone is so damn “offended” and offendable these days.)

      Oh, Cathy, my slightly angry Western maiden, we could have been lovers in a different world. Perhaps the next UFO can lift us up and take us to James Cameron’s blue-people planet.

    2. Dear Fargon,

      The more I read of your blogs, the more I realize that I have perhaps taken your sarcasm the wrong way and you are not really angry. I did not wish my post to be angry, but perhaps I am angry at you. I very much enjoy your intelligence
      and wit, and you seem to have some common sense which is sorely lacking in most people.

      What I object to is your weapon of choice. Sarcasm is a double edged sword. May I say you do wield it well, but it only seems to provoke anger back at you. You really do enjoy pissing people off, don't you? If you are doing it for their benefit,
      have you found that arousing their anger is the best way? Perhaps I am naive, but isn't there a better way to get people to question their beliefs?

      You are assuming a few things about me which are not true. My "easy" "bullshit" path is one I talk to no one about because
      I would be ostracised, ridiculed and certainly fired from my job(run by fundamentalist christians). I learned long ago
      that there is no god in heaven, loving or judging us, and no heaven, and no hell, either. I do believe in an energy that you can use, but it doesn't give a rat's ass whether you use it for good or evil. My "precious fantasy world" was abandoned
      long ago, also.

      I am glad you found my last question hilarious. You really did answer it, though. Please call me a moronic asshole, but the answer is, "No, I really don't understand it."
      Russell(to whom you replied above) said, "If you wish to find the true meaning of life and existence in this universe, then
      forever seek questions rather than establish facts. The journey ends when you foolishly become convinced that you possess the answer to anything at all."

      I think this could have been said much better. You need to always seek facts, provable, repeatable facts, facts that you can see in nature with your own eyes. They are there and they do give you the answers to the way the universe works.
      The journey ends when you have accumulated all the facts you can understand and realize that your mind is so limited that you will never be able to understand the cosmos.

      Love & Light? No, you have me wrong again, but I am not offended, rather amused. I am always seeking answers and I have found some which are truly mind boggling. I have proven to myself(and call me deluded if you like, I will only smile knowingly) that the energy you put out comes back in you in kind. Yes, the old fashioned thing called "karma." That is why I was upset because you put so much energy and enthusiasm out, but you use sarcasm which returns anger to you. This cannot be good for you even if it doesn't bother you.

      I send you Love to balance the negative and Light for you to see your true path. Hey, those hippies had a good thing going. Free Love and all that. I've always liked tree houses. One last question before I go. Why is your avatar an anteater?

      Love & Light,

    3. Well, I do state in the intro that the text is intended more for people unsure about the issue, not so much for UFO fanatics who already believe. To be quite frank, this entire text was nothing more than an appropriate reaction to the huge dumbing-down from shows such as "UFO Hunters" and "Ancient Aliens". The popularity of that kind of garbage has helped turn UFOlogy into a serious anti-intellectual menace, similar to U.S. liberalism, for example. The more you distance people from logic, science and common sense, the more easily you can get them to become non-thinking easy-to-manipulate vegetables - which many people in power profit from. When (formerly) "serious" documentary channels start disseminating bullshit, the dumbing-down becomes a little more dire - even though still quite comical. I am already struggling as it is with being surrounded by morons, and don’t need any additional dumbing-down that only serves to increase their numbers. This is why I take the freedom to be sarcastic, and make dumb jokes, if that makes sense. ("Sometimes I don't even make sense to myself" - Ed Wood. There, I'm actually quoting Ed Wood!) Not that I hope to change anything. Just having a bit of fun.

      Who says I am doing this for the benefit of UFOlogists? They cannot be reasoned with, and their mostly very angry reactions have only further proven this. The text might help teens and young people who are not yet sure what to believe, and whose minds are getting a proper brainwashing from the media, on issues ranging from politics to science to sex relations. If the text annoys some UFOlogists, well tough luck. Those milk-bottle babies need to learn to deal with differing opinions because differing opinions are here to stay. They annoy (and amuse me, alternately) with their History Channel drivel, so I merely respond in kind. In fact, a lot of this blog is a response to media bullshit. The rest is just infantile nonsense or elaboration on certain hobbies I have.
      Regarding hippies, no, they may have had a good thing going for THEM. While they were stoned out of their minds, smoking weed, screwing each other’s brains out in mass orgies, and doing absolutely nothing aside from lounging around feeling superior (as most morons feel), the rest of society was actually working to support their futile existence. Read up more on those useless clowns, coz the media and Hollywood in particular have romanticized them to the point of absurdity. They were Soviet Union’s brainless zombie army.

      And forget tree houses. What if you fall off? There is a reason our ancestors had left their trees to walk on the ground. But this whole tree-hugging business is closely related to the back-to-the-caves regressive mentality of those damned foolish hippies and the Marxist college professors who guide them like sheep-herders.

      Don’t get me started on hippies! To read more about them, go to my political blog, or to my “Emos, Hippies, Rappers or Punks” post. It’s from last year.

      Hate & Dark

    4. Hey David,

      Sadly, the dumbing-down has permeated our whole Western society, especially the school systems, but then how can it not when the teachers are even dumber than the students. I apologize to any truly intelligent teachers out there struggling to educate while their hands are tied behind their backs with bureaucratic shackles. Enough said.

      I rarely even bother to watch TV any more. Follow the money is the rule rather than the exception.

      My reference to tree houses was aimed at those on James Cameron's planet and the hippies reference was a poor come-back on the esoteric person joke. I didn't mean to push any buttons. Still, there's the anteater.
      Thank you David, but the best way to greet Hate & Dark is still with

      Love & Light,

    5. I meant David. Wilcock. David Wilcock.

      The ant-eater is a wonderful animal, so silly. I could have used the sloth or any penguin would do just as well.

    6. Oh, I know all that stuff about ant-eaters. But to me it's the appearance and comical behaviour of animals that interests me (even) more than all that "serious" biological stuff.

  20. You think there is no life on other planets , because you have a brain the size of a pea ! kkkkkkk and green !
    You are unable to see an inch beyond the nose, and want to know what exists or does not exist beyond Earth ? kkkkkkkk ( LOL )
    To discover things like this, which require , perception , insight , and intelligence is far beyond their capacity . With millions of planets in the universe , believe that life exists only here , is very naive ! But the funny pictures that you have here , realize how naive are you?
    Little green men ... kkkkkkkkkkk You're so funny!
    Lucky us that you are not doing research for science !
    You get to be ridiculous! Continues here with his jokes ! This you can do well ! Believe what you want , because we can not prove that there are , but you also can not prove that there is. Only great minds are able to discover things by research and evidence . But you're too naive to that.
    Don't come back to make dumb jokes I do not waste my time ok ? I do not waste time with meaningless opinions . Bye bye , little green man ! kkkkkkkkk

    1. What a riotously angry post. You sound like a 5 year-old girl who just had a piece of candy snatched from her face.

      Look, Eliza-Beth. I realize that UFOs are like a security blanket to most of you UFOgies – or even like candy. Trust me, I love candy, so I can imagine how peeved you must be. If someone took an ORIOS out of mouth, I’d be ranting and raving also! However, you still have your candy. I didn’t take anything away from you. Feel free to chew on that green crap for as long as you want. Do you really actually think I would steal from a mere child?! Damn, just how evil do you think I am!

      To address your very silly points, the few that I could make out amidst the puerile leg-kicking.

      “With millions of planets in the universe, believe that life only exists here, is very naïve!” You obviously didn’t read the intro which very clearly states that I do believe that life exists elsewhere (hopefully more intelligent than us Beth Elizians), but that those are two separate issues. Even Bill Clinton doesn’t know the difference between the issue of alien existence elsewhere and the issue of whether they had visited us! So you can feel better, knowing you’re in the company of such a great great mind such as his.

      “You cannot prove that there are, buy you also cannot prove that there is!” I also mention the “burden of proof” in my text, but it seems it’s a concept foreign to your mind. Perhaps when you grow up. You ARE still only 5, after all. Plenty of time for that grey matter to connect and start functioning somewhat.

      “Don’t come back, I don’t waste my time, OK?” Firstly, you just wasted time posting here, which means you a) have time, and b) found this text important enough to rant about. Secondly, being just a 5 year-old confirms that you’ve got plenty of time. What have you got better to do? AND you posted here again a little later.

      Beth, you're adorable, especially when you do those KKKKKKKs that must be some kind of an in-joke thing among you UFOgy kids.

  21. Nice essay. I wrote one like this in college. I think your lampooning gets a little thick.

    1. When I address the thick, I lay it on thick. Makes sense.

      Besides, thin isn't fun.