Monday, 9 September 2013

Dynamo: Magician CGI

My weal name is Steven Fwayne.

"See this paper?... I shall now give it to my assistant, she will carry it all the way to our CGI department, and they will totally miraculously turn it into a spaceship.

That's what being a magician is all about."

"Watch these cards... With a mere flick of the wrist I will turn all these cards into beer-bottles. How do I do it? Years of hard work, dedication, practice, sweat, tears, perseverance, and talent. 

And of course a little help from our hard-working editor in the CGI department."

"Watch this... A deck of cards in my left hand, and a deck of cards in my right hand... Now watch me switch hands... Voila. I STILL have a deck in each hand. No need to applaud, it's one of my slightly less spectacular tricks. I do this entirely without CGI!"

"I am standing completely still, and yet these butterflies - none of which are paid actors - are all flying around me, singing the British national anthem in Chinese."

Auditions for "Dynamo: Magician Impossible". Hundreds of unemployed actors are slightly less unemployed thanks to the show.

Here's the guy doing all the work. "Steven gets all the glory. Our viewers are morons."

Ever wondered how fat people would fare in a "Dual Survival" type of show? 

Perhaps you want to find out about people who are even dumber than those innocents who actually fall for "Dynamo's" bullshit show? You do? Well then, read this:

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